something beginning with L

2011: I will only love a wild thing.

2011-12-31T15:44:00.001Z

I started out the year in the heartbreak hotel with purple hair and I learnt not to doubt myself. I partied myself out of that hotel and maintained the slutism and go hard or go home theories that usually result in some kind of unholy activity. I passed my first year of university and still never stopped partying. I got a couple of jobs and was living in the glorious overdraft of my trusty bank account. Summer came and I worked and made sure I did everything that I wanted to do but I began to start caring more about the consequences of my actions and so I applied some genuine feelings to a situation which with the benefit of hindsight was a dumbass thing to do because it still pisses me off. Did get a few good blowjobs out of it tho- every cloud.

The summer music festivals arrived and I partied with blue hair untill I collapsed. Then it was time to start the second year of university and it had occurred to me how much of a scramble my brain had become and it took me a while to get back to where I needed to be. I was in my own house, made excuses for myself, got a new job and more new friends. I resent all the grown up stuff I have to do but to a certain extent have become wise in the ways of the world which you don’t get at home with Mummy and Daddy. Autumn was spend avoiding the stress of all the grown up stuff whilst finding myself running back home at any excuse to get fucked and be the person I can be when I have no responsibilities. I know that I’ve done everything to the best I can and I’ve done what makes me happy. We all dream of the rock and roll world but that world is so easily broken.

I’m finishing the year with a few interests, potential alcohol poisoning, blonde hair and my brothel creepers.

Fashion Styling

2011-11-07T13:58:00.001Z

Dubstep- The Bastard Genre

2011-10-26T18:54:00.001+01:00

Benga & Skream at Big Apple Records, Croydon

Dubstep is the sound of the city. The London born and bred genre started as a dark and experimental sound created in a London suburb’s backstreet shop and is now widely recognised that has given birth to its own exciting nocturnal culture.

Big Apple Records- the social hub located in the Croydon town sprawl was delivery room for the newly born bastard genre. Benga, DJ Hatcha, Skream and N-Type were the shop’s regulars are now the successful DJ’s witnessed playing Dubstep around the world today. The bass-driven sound has evolved since the millennium with recognised influences from all genres of music such as Drum ‘n’ Bass, Hip Hop, Reggae, House and Garage- Dubstep is endlessly promoted and more currently been projected into mainstream music and hit straight into the UK Charts.

The one-upon-a-time small Dubstep scene has escalated into a massive UK music statement. Magnetic Man- consisting of Benga, Artwork and Skream, had their first top 10 UK hit with “I Need Air” reaching number 10 and made everyone who wasn’t previously aware of the music style listen and weep. Compared to some of the Dubstep anthems created in 2005 onwards such as Skream’s “Midnight Request Line” and Benga & Coki’s “Night” it is evident that the Dubstep sound has reached a comfortable level of diversity. From mainstream to absolute bass-ridden filth, Dubstep is now a conformed culture.

After swallowing the city into its belly-full of thunder, Dubstep is heard in every club night and has a million-strong army of followers all over the world. The future is untold for this feisty genre but experiencing this new city culture first-hand wherever you are is undoubtedly worthwhile.

Mayfield Lavender Fields

2011-08-14T21:30:00.001+01:00

9th August

2011-08-11T18:52:00.004+01:00

I spent a few days in Bournemouth, Christchurch and Southampton this week. Recently I've had alot on my mind and it was good getting away from it all.

2011-07-24T21:19:00.002+01:00

I keep telling myself to stay up to date with this blog- my 'proper' blog. New posts only ever seem to happen when I'm feeling thoughtful and desperate for some sort of an outlet. I hate letting time escape me, so I'll start with a update on where this summer has taken me so far.

Today I watched the film Bright Star

2011-07-13T14:31:00.000+01:00

They were young and spiteful. Misunderstood in conflicting surroundings. They would repel and take great care in making their amends. She would research him and discover him through his work,all the while he would bask in her. They knew they were falling in love, they would secretly kiss and be inevitably be interrupted. His hand at poetry came suddenly easier as his feelings for the misunderstood girl became his conductor.

He left her and she resented ever being adored by him. Their love continued through letters and she caught butterflies in honour of his free spirit. She left them to die when his letters stopped. He came back and created his most famous poem whilst kissing her. Bright star.

2011-06-18T19:40:00.002+01:00

I took this photo at haynes lane vintage market.
I'm so tired.

Jessie J for Italian Vogue

2011-06-05T18:19:00.000+01:00

southampton wins

2011-06-05T18:04:00.002+01:00

The 5th June update on life

2011-06-05T17:48:00.005+01:00

I am in a state of misconduct. I don’t know what I want or what the future will allow me to have.
Some days I walk around in a daze that I can't seem to shake off. I have desires and ambitions but no motivation or inspiration in order to achieve them.

26th of May

2011-05-27T18:48:00.001+01:00

What a delirious, delicious situation we flutter within. It is not a meeting, affair or problem, simply a situation that trickles down long after the heartbreak of a conclusion.

Months have passed and our lives briefly touch, I see a now unrecognizable life that I once basked in. I basked in my pride, its beauty and our love.

Once a King, oh how the mighty have fallen. Future Kings look down to you, to learn how not to dither into a mere shadow of ones former self.

After a night of no sleep, I have never been so awake.

20th May 2011

2011-05-20T11:58:00.002+01:00

I love how as soon as something happens that I can’t seem to deal with as it is way out of my maturity level it is time for me to go back to Southampton.

I’ve just had to plan a journey from Croydon to Gunnersbury in Chiswick and then to Ascot, its going to cost me at least £15 just to go to two interviews for some summer work waitressing for these events companys over London. They do fashion events, film premiers, Royal Ascot, Hampton Court and football events. It’ll be cool as soon as the pennies start rolling in and I can start tackling my summer list of things to-do. I’ll probably get to meet tons of new people which I’m looking forward to this summer. It’ll get me out of Croydon for work which I will be so grateful for. It seems that whenever I’m around I always bump into someone, one in particular I’d rather would get stabbed in the eye. Hopefully someone will realise that this is a very important crime that needs to happen in order to make the world a better place. Criminals of Croydon- don’t rob Gran in the street, stab beggish dirty thieving greasy cheating disgusting drug bandits in the eye instead.

On another note, I am currently experiencing the ‘gutted’ feeling you get when it is far too late and you never told them that you like them and have realised that even if you had, it will now not make any difference to the matter in question and therefore there is no fucking point. Ladies and Gentlemen, you are currently witnessing me (for the first time ever may I add) fail!

2011-05-13T20:12:00.002+01:00

Summer has begun and I need to figure out what I'm doing because I want to do everything.

Peter Doherty. Southampton. 11.05.11

2011-05-13T19:54:00.004+01:00

Chris, Mike and I went to see Peter Doherty in Southampton the other night. It was a small gig which I was grateful for and got myself at the front with a couple of pints to sort me out whilst he was playing. The gig was so good and whatever life has thrown at him there is no doubt he has lost any ounce of his musical talent.

Chris went home to do an all-nighter to get his essay done and Mike accompanied me to Oceana where we met everyone to celebrate the end of the first year of university.

We had such a drunken laugh and before we knew it the night was over and we'd lost half of the original group so went over the road to McDonalds and I skipped to the front of the que to do the cheeseburger rounds.

We started our walk home which somehow ended up being a trolley ride for Dave. I'm surprised we're not dead. I was running at full speed around a roundabout pushing Dave in a trolley at 4am.

After we arrived home alive the trolley had become an important part of our lives so we catapolted the trolley over the fence at the back of our block and got it in the lift and into our flat where it then became a stage where I decided to take off my clothes. Good one Laura.

Dave crashed out in my room at 5:30am and we all woke up rather proud of ourselves and our ribs still hurting from laughing so much at the journey home.

My first year of uni definatley finished well.

Magazine Design Project

2011-05-10T15:42:00.003+01:00

my three page layout on vintage fashion for my magazine design project final.

pressed some fleurs

2011-05-05T11:59:00.003+01:00

Newcombe Road Royal Rave Up

2011-04-30T19:53:00.003+01:00

I was here yesterday to celebrate the Royal Wedding.

28/04/2011

2011-04-28T15:53:00.008+01:00

First things first, I'm happy and I'm back in Southampton after the Easter break and it is nice to be back and standing on my own two feet again.
It is the Royal Wedding tomorrow which should be interesting, I haven't decided where to watch it but my friends and I are going to a street party to celebrate which will probably go down in Southampton Solent royal history alongside the wedding.
I lost my inspiration whilst back at home, which is surprising because I had so much to say but never the right person to say it to.
The weather today is sunny but cold and I can't wait until bedtime. This is what Southampton looks today from where I'm sitting.

Harri

2011-04-28T15:47:00.005+01:00

Some photos so far for my Magazine Design project which supports my Vintage Fashion article.

Portrait

2011-04-28T15:44:00.004+01:00

Here are some photographs I'd forgotten about

landscape

2011-04-28T15:39:00.009+01:00

Here are some photographs that I'd forgotten about

I couldn't have put it better myself

2011-04-22T18:57:00.001+01:00

He used to be a singer in a rock and roll band. He would write the songs and I’d tremble at his hand but he lost poetic ethic and his songs were pathetic. He’s a failure now.

He used to be the life and soul of everyone around. You’d never catch him looking up and never see him down but he couldn’t raise a smile not for a while. He’s a failure now.

- Laura Marling- failure

2011-04-22T18:56:00.000+01:00

blossom on shirley avenue

16/04/11

2011-04-16T10:09:00.003+01:00

It is half way through the Easter Holidays and so far my time at home has been interesting. Ive been out driving in the sunshine with friends, taking photos, having dinner with family, sitting in beer gardens until the sun goes down and dancing till the sun comes up.
I feel trapped amoungst the people I call my friends and it makes me want to scream.

SOUTHAMPTON CELEBRATES CHINESE NEW YEAR IN STYLE

2011-03-31T19:36:00.002+01:00

The decorated streets of Southampton became busier by the second on Sunday 6th February. The air was scented by burning incense from the newly refurbished Guildhall Square and the Chinese New Year Festival started gloriously to celebrate the new year of the Golden Rabbit.

Mayor of Southampton Councillor Carol Cunio started off the exciting festivities by performing the traditional ritual of Dim Jing, the dotting of the lion’s eye that brings them to life in order for the festival to commence. Despite the windy weather, the ritual finished with hundreds of firecrackers exploding in the middle of the square to keep away any evil spirits in the skies as the rest of the festival was soon well underway.

Mayor Carol Cunio said: “Year after year this event has such a good response and is very popular. It definitely says a lot about Southampton’s culture today and how it has progressed throughout the years.”

“I especially love how all the children get involved and it is just not the Chinese community, it really makes it a fun multicultural event.”

Several celebrations were also performed by six beautiful Chinese Princess’, the Waterside Dragon Dance Club who performed a lion dance, dragon and unicorn dance and martial arts displays in front of 4,000 people who watched at Guildhall Square.

For the 6th Year running, the Chinese New Year Festival has taken place in Southampton’s city centre organised by Southampton City Council, Southampton Chinese Association and Waterside Dragon Club. The event was supported by Grosvenor Casino, Yau Brothers, Zen Japanese Bar and Restaurant, Royal Wok, Chinatown Oriental Supermarkets, Golden Palace Chinese Restaurants, Ocean Dragon Chinese Restaurant, WuTan Kung Fu School and Southampton City Centre Management.

The Chinese Association of Southampton has been established for 9 years and has over 100 dedicated members. The association aims to promote and celebrate the Chinese art, culture and traditions and improve the livelihood of the Chinese community in Southampton. Every year they are dedicated to the Chinese New Year Festival of Southampton.

For Professor Zhao Youngren, Vice-President for the London based Chinese Embassy; it was his first time attending the Chinese Festival and said: “It is such a happy time as we are celebrating the New Year and the huge turnout is much appreciated. It is a good way for us to be able to promote our culture by having such a multicultural event, I think it is fantastic how everybody gets involved.”
“We have a good relation with England and this is a fantastic way to celebrate such a good event and I wish a Happy New Year of the Rabbit to everyone, it will be a good year.”

The dragon parade left the square along with 10,000 people in tow and continued the festivities through Above Bar towards the Chinese Market that took place in the busy city centre. Peal Coici, a stallholder in the Chinese Market said: “This event is lovely and I enjoyed having a stall here last year so much that I decided to come back. It is nice to see so many families come out and enjoy the New Year.”

The parade continued to West Quay Shopping Centre where several demonstrations were performed for the hundreds of onlookers crammed in West Quay. The exciting atmosphere and parade continued along the route to the Grosvenor Casino.

China’s population has increased by 10% in the last year, currently making it the second largest inhabited country in the world today. Southampton’s sister China city Qingdao was mentioned within the celebrations by Professor Zhao Youngren as ‘a good solid friendly relationship and may it continue to thrive’.

2011-03-31T10:44:00.002+01:00

I found this the other day, it had fallen behind my bed when he put it under my pillow. A million years have passed.

It is strange how someone you once loved is now just someone you used to know

2011-03-28T10:22:00.001+01:00

2011-03-21T13:29:00.001Z

“I would never wear pearls or make casseroles. I would never go near a man who had a portfolio or a set of golf clubs or a business or even a business suit. I would only love a wild thing. I didn’t care if wild things tended to break hearts. I didn’t care if they substituted scotch for breakfast cereal. I understood that art was long and life was short.”

— Anne Roiphe

Kate Moss at Paris Fashion Week

2011-03-20T13:47:00.004Z

So, it is one of those made up days where someone somewhere decided it should be 'No Smoking Day'. 'No Smoking Day' was first established in 1984, it is the first I've heard of it which makes me part of the 30% of the country who also don't have a clue. Throughout its 25 years of being an established charity it aims to help people quit smoking- amongst the millions of other things on the market today.

Although the idea is good, this day probably hasn't stopped the majority of the 13 million smokers in the U.K alone; however, it defiantly didn't stop Kate Moss who put two fingers up at everyone who said 'you can't'.

Kate Moss strutted her junk down the catwalk for Louis Vuitton in Paris this week, fag in hand and blowing clouds of theatrical smoke along the way.

The tabloids, websites and news have featured this monumental fashion moment but mostly, it is sad to say, the issue has been responded to negatively, mostly through Twitter.

As her first catwalk comeback within the last 3 years, Kate Moss stood out- as she has done her whole career. She embraced this and did the unexpected.

Fashion is not only about beautiful girls, but the character these girls are- especially if they are a little bit bad. Kate Moss knew what she was doing when she lit that cigarette, she has been in the public eye most of her life, and she made her mark on that catwalk and got the attention that she deserves, attention that she wanted.

As the Croydon Clothes Horse, she has not just stood there whilst people have dressed her. She has lived her career to its full potential and has not remained anonymous, but as a fashion character.

2011-03-19T21:21:00.003Z

Picked up these nice bits today. I'm going to cut up the lee jeans tshirt and wear the patterned jacket with my vintage jodpur leggings from Paris.
I wandered around town on my own in the sunshine and it was really nice. I don't want to feel like it is me fighting against the world all the time.

paris.

2011-03-08T16:33:00.002Z

I visited Paris over the weekend and it was honestly one of the highlights of my life so far. Here are my misadventures through Paris.

The journey was long and sleepy. The sun was shining whilst my mind was elsewhere.

The first evening we took the Metro to Trocadero to see the Eiffel Tower lit up at night. I stood there for a moment to absorb the fact I was stood in front of the Eiffel Tower, it took my breath away. The evening was quickly taken away from me after the long journey and after a hot chocolate in my fur coat, I fell asleep in the comfy hotel bed.

The next morning I got up early to have a shower and get dressed to try and look suitable for breakfast. The clothes i packed were something of a statement. One of my favorite things is putting on an item of clothing that has a story and makes everyone stop and stare. Breakfast was scrambled eggs and bacon with croissants followed by a wander round in the nearby streets to buy a french vogue and cigarettes.

A bus tour was organised around the sunny city and I was dropped off at the Fashion and Textile Museum which I really took the time to appreciate. Everyone else seemed to just flit about but there were some exquisite pieces on display straight from the catwalk.

We then went straight to Starbucks for the morning grande latte. There were six of us that formed the group that would accompany me around Paris for the weekend. I was surprised to notice how many of the group didn’t entirely know how to read a map, use the Metro and have such a lack of street sense. Even so, we decided where we wanted to go and spend the rest of the day in the Paris sunshine.

We took the Metro to Saint Paul, which was were all the vintage shops were, I managed to sniff out a few and picked up a few bits.

Lunch was settled in a nearby French Cafe where I ate a smoked duck salad and gossiped.

We then walked to Notre Dame and sat in the sunshine for a while before catching the Metro again to concorde, where the Vivienne Westwood fashion show was due to commence.

We hung around outside in the sunshine until the sun went down. Mingling in and absorbing the atmosphere. Everyone was on their toes for who they could spot next. I saw Paloma Faith and a few other people in the midst of getting snapped by the pride of paparazzi.

Our adventures had lead us into the night were we all had sore feet and felt over indulged with what Paris had to offer that day.

Early Saturday morning was spent slipping into my Liz Clairbourne vintage emerald dress and having a bit too much breakfast. Our arrival at Eiffel Tower was soon converted into a waiting time of thirty minutes to get the lift up to the second point of the tower.

The hazy Paris sun lit up the city and all its white crisp and clean buildings. Whereas London is so grey, Paris seemed to shine. The warm sun was on my back whilst I captured Paris at every angle and perspective on my camera.

Our travels continued to Sacre Coeur where we had lunch in a cafe outside a small theatre. We wandered around aimlessly in the cobbled back streets of Sacre Coeur in and out the people sat outside cafes drinking afternoon coffee and smoking cigarettes.

The sun went down as we arrived at the Musee de Louvre in the hope of seeing the Mona Lisa, the gallery was shut so we caught the Metro back home after admitting we were all too tired to carry on.

I washed Paris off my face and slept until it was time to go home.

2011-03-02T23:45:00.001Z

just quickly, Im going to Paris in 6 hours

20::18

2011-02-27T20:18:00.003Z

Friday I went to Bournemouth with Lucy to do a test shoot for my magazine design project.

I planned the shoot out to be quite authentic to my vintage theme, I got a few good shots which I was happy with.

We had fish and chips and giggled the whole day, it was nice to go out exploring.

We got kicked off one train and had to hide from the ticket inspector on the other which was when we decided to go out dancing that evening.

We were on a man hunt and spied a fit boy on the bus when we were talking about where we going that evening, which we then bumped into at the club and he said that he had followed us to the club that night after hearing us chatting about it on the bus. weird.

My buddy Rachael is having a bit of fella trouble so she came along. We went out like rockstars and partied until 8am.

I spent Saturday curled up in bed because there was nothing better to do apart from be tired. I ventured out my room to see all the mess that we'd made in the flat, wasn't pretty I say.

Today I went into town and got myself a job interview and a bangtidy new top and some leaving presents for Lucy. I still feel tired but I'm going to Paris on Thursday which is alright.

Here are some photos from our misadventures in Bournemouth. Even this blog post is tired.

My Passion

2011-02-24T22:12:00.005Z

I once had a photography exam project on 'passions and obsessions'.
I recreated Alice in Wonderland to resemble how make-believe worlds are created from a passionate imagination.

I then continued to work on obsession. I wanted to present how people can become so obsessed with their bodies. I captured this by photographing stomachs. The stomach being in the centre of a body and usually the most criticized part. This way I could also conceal the person's identity and it was only them that could see their body photographed and I hoped that any insecurities where then dismissed at how beautiful they looked.

After photographing both 'passion' and 'obsession' as separate subjects, I wanted to bring them together. I photographed a body with my recreated Wonderland projected on to it. This combined my initial ideas of passion and obsession. I felt that all my outcomes were tied together.

However, looking back at this project, I didn't photography MY passions or obsessions. Now I've been assigned this blog post on what my passion is. Sex, Drugs & Rock 'n' Roll passes my mind. If you asked me to write this post a year ago that would have been a shadow of my answer, an answer that would have been more of a way of life rather than a passion. Love is also on the table, but the particular thing in mind is not part of my life anymore. Fashion would just be predictable, I'm on a fashion course with 100 girls and the likely hood of one of them writing a blog post on 'fashion is my passion' is, you've guessed it, very high.

So Laura, what is your passion?
Photography is my passion.
Is that your final answer?
Yeah, I guess so.

More precisley, my passion has always been to create things. Whether it be making everything possible out of newspaper and pva glue off Art Attack from a young age, making people happy, creating drama, love, mischief, noise or art.

The new digital era means that the majority of photographs get stored in pixels on your laptop. This hurts me. However, getting the 40,000 photos your laptop stores will probably set you back a months food shop. There is nothing better than having photo albums. Moments presented and stored in a way that creates a moment in itself- when you can sit down and relive every single photograph without staring at a screen.

Photographs do create moments, not only creating them but being in them. Each of them meaning something different to each and every person who views them or is a part of them. A photograph can be the insight to someones life, or at least, a part of it that was important enough to capture and make timeless. Each photograph being a memory.

I hope the traditional values of photographs do not disappear in the new generation of technology, memory and vision. Most of all, I hope we get photographs that move like in Harry Potter, because they are magic.

21.02.11

2011-02-21T21:13:00.011Z

my candle
the peacock that lives on my wall
my necklace
me
'love' ring. wear your love on your fist
my £1.99 1980's Liz Clairborne dress

2011-02-21T21:01:00.006Z

I just had a brainstorm. Apparently you are not allowed to call them 'brainstorms' anymore as it is offensive to people who actually have a storm in their brain and are therefore retarded.
I just had a thought shower. A photography project called 'the way it has changed'. I could photography all my lovers to dictate the way THAT has changed. I want to be able to show how the last few months have been fuelled by change. I don't want to be in the environment I was back then, so I'll photograph it all instead. Maybe I could exhibit it at the Purley Art Show that is coming up.

21.02.11

2011-02-21T20:22:00.004Z

I've got a new barnet and it is the colour of sunshine.

I spent some time at home this week and caught up with a few friends and foes. As I gained a few friends I also lost one, one that was rather important. It has made me realise that I live in a different world now, a world that rarely touches the old one. I've got into a habit of loving people and leaving.

I've been partying a lot, having a good good time, and keeping myself busy with countless lists of things to do and things to be done. I keep pondering over my outfits that will accompany me to Paris and what I want to achieve once I'm there. I hope three days is enough. I'm going to capture the whole thing on film, Paris on film. I'm so excited and I think it will get me back into the swing of my creative things.

At the moment I don't seem to be able to switch off. There is constantly something going on and something to think about. Although this is the usual for me and I like to keep busy, I'd just like some time to switch off, time to get away but never to hide.

This will do for now.

19:21

2011-02-14T19:20:00.003Z

Today is Valentines Day. With this in mind, I ventured out in the town earlier today to run a few errands and I suddenly noticed how many couples there were, proudly walking hand in hand trying to make one another happy.
So many people get wound up by the 14th February, that it is a waste of time and money. However, this only proves which people are jealous and lonely.
Love is something that is undefined, for everyone it is different. It can be unsatisfying, violent, lost and self-consuming, or ultimately it can be the most beautiful thing a person can possibly experience.
I hope everyone has a beautiful experience, because otherwise it simply isn't worth the time and the hurt.
This year, I thought I'd be a little girl again and make my Dad my Valentine.

09:24

2011-02-03T09:24:00.003Z

I'm sat in my Writing for Multimedia seminar and today we're learning about blogging.

I don't think I have ever written a post so early in the morning before, so the unravelling of my thoughts at this hour could be somewhat interesting.

I'm thinking about my posture, Lidl, becoming an employed citizen and my Grandma and Grandad. So far I seem to have started each sentence with 'I'. I am being selfish for a while.

So here is the pathetic attempt of revolutionizing my blog. From now on I will be posting such powerful pieces of writing and journalism that it'll make your eyes wee, which was, believe it or not, the point of this world wide web car park space in the first place.

2011-01-25T12:16:00.003Z

every now and then, he still captures my thoughts and makes my heart go wild.

2011-01-25T12:15:00.001Z

I fell in love in a fort once. We were curled up together asking each other to reveal all our secrets and thats when I knew I loved you. I converted your room into a fort when you were on holiday. I made a fort to hide in when you were in the bath to see if you’d find me. Only Ligers we’re allowed in our fort because I was a tiger and you were a lion and there was always a sign on it saying ‘Ligers Only’. The last for we made was in my living room one morning and spent the whole day cuddling and playing games in our pajamas.

Today is Tuesday

2011-01-25T12:04:00.005Z

When I think of Tuesday's I think cheap drinks. I don't know why, but Tuesday is student night and there is a lot of £1.50 vodkas to be had, whether that will actually happen tonight I'm not too sure but I need to escape for a bit I think so I'm going to try my best to hoard a crowd together.

I spent the weekend at home and had a lovely time. I went to the physiotherapist about my back and she gave me some stretches and said that whatever it was that was bothering me I need to just cry and let it all out. It got me thinking and recently I've been so pressured to be okay about everything and just get on with it that I haven't allowed myself to be upset or cry. The time will come though I'm sure.

Saturday was a busy day, it was my Nannie's birthday party. I love my Nannie, she is such an amazing and inspiring woman. I then skipped out a tiny bit early to see Sarah, Jake, Reece, and Ryan for a while. Sarah is a really good friend who is still figuring out what she should be doing, so is Jake. Ryan is my exex who I still can't quite work out and Reece is just. Reece. I then went with the family to see Jason Manford, that funny guy out of 8 out of 10 cats. He was quite funny but I was bursting for a wee most of the time and couldn't laugh in fear of pissing myself.

After the show finished I caught up with old friends and new friends at The Black Sheep. I find myself going out just to dance instead of drink, I can dance all night. Then we got in thee biggest truck of a taxi back to Jim's house where everyone was there but I wasn't really in the mood to be fun anymore, I just wanted to curl up and have a cuddle. Which is what we ended up going back to Sarah's house to do. I was cuddling a friend that I had to remind myself was only a friend.
After no sleep, I went home and then came to my Southampton home.

I didn't take any photos this weekend.

13.01.10

2011-01-13T17:51:00.007Z

These are some photos I have taken from over the festive season. I hope one day the photo of the windmill earns me millions, I had back ache the day I took this and by the time I got home I'd trapped a nerve in my back. This was one of the bad things that happened to me within the first 23 shit days of Christmas. The rest of the photographs are from my trip to Ireland in the new year to visit my Grandparents, they live in such a lovely place. However when you have a scrambled brain and one too many thoughts its not so good as majority of the time all you can do is think. Wasn't all bad though, I came home with fresh air in my lungs and a clear mind. I'm back in Southampton now and everythings looking up, I'm happy to be back and see what the rest of the year has in store for me.

10.01.11

2011-01-11T16:21:00.005Z

These are photos of me by Emily Baker.
You can find her here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/emilybakerthephotographtaker/

this is me and my lovely friend robyn on new years eve.

2011-01-03T21:10:00.001Z

I am going to Ireland to visit Grandma & Grandad

2011-01-03T21:06:00.003Z

These last two weeks I've made so many new friends, laughed, been merry and happy. Now I am going to Ireland for a bit of peace and quiet and Grandma's cooking. It will be good to be able to curl up with a book, take photographs and reflect over everything that's happened. I'm really looking forward to what this year has in store for me!

2011-01-01T22:31:00.005Z

Being in the New Forest at sundown and watching the horses grazing on the horizon.
Visiting Nannie and Grandad and the bambi deer getting stuck in the gate.
Singing Rhianna at the top of my lungs in the middle of the dancefloor.
Kissing somebody else.
Climbing the hillside in Ireland in my wellies and sitting on the ridge overlooking the world.
Walking with a bad back just to take a photograph of the windmill in the snow.
Falling asleep together in the bath.
Finding ladybirds in my clothes.
Listening to you play guitar as if the whole world is listening.
Watching the fireworks fly up into the sky from down in the valley.
Being given a poptart to make me feel better.
Grandad sending me a Meerkat calendar.
Swimming in the Indian Ocean at 5:30am.
Snorkelling over the coral reef.
Sitting on the beach with a fire and hot chocolate and seeing a shooting star.
Hiding underwater until the rain stopped.
Having a fight dressed as a Vampire.
Recieving homemade cards with 'I Love You's stuck on with sellotape.
Being given a compass in the rain.
Having purple hair.
Swimming as a mermaid.
Falling asleep on my Mum's lap.

2011

2011-01-01T21:55:00.002Z

When the clock struck midnight and the new year began, I took a moment out to appreciate 2010 and realised how everything has changed, changed so quickly. I was in love for the best part of 2010, a whole year consumed by a person who only ended up hurting me and the funny thing is, when midnight came, I found myself thinking about where he was.
I am glad that part of my life is over, I'm a better person for it and I know I need to make the most of every day- because you never know what is just around the corner. I was lucky enough to go to one of the most beautiful places in the world during the summer of 2010 with my family, I started university and began a whole new chapter in my life.
I'm really looking forward to 2011, I'm going to take the good moments of 2010 and make them twice as good, and the bad moments, are forgotten.

Cheeeeeeeese Gromit!

2010-12-09T18:30:00.001Z

I never have lived with anyone apart from my family. So recently, the chapter in my life titled ‘university’ begun and the thought of it made me crap my pants. What was I going to do?! All on my own in a single bed in a 9 x 6 cell, having to fend for myself, having to cook for myself, ensuring I had clean underwear after repeatedly crapping myself from constantly thinking about the fact that I, am going to be alone with no friends, cold, scared and hungry.

I had accepted the fact that under no circumstances was my new home in university halls going to be like my comfortable home that has working appliances and isn’t full of strangers, with its comfortable sofa and comfortable bed that doesn’t creak every time you move and doesn’t resemble a camp bed. Nevertheless, the day I’d been dreading arrived quicker than you could say ‘help me’.

The car was filled with Mum, Dad and Sister, who at the time I hated because they were soon going to leave me. However, I moved in without kicking up a fuss and crying- I was a grown up now and I had to do grown up things. I could do it, look after myself and not get mugged. Eventually, after the flat became full with my housemates, together the 10 of us made up Flat 1a and would do so for the next 8 month of our lives. I survived my first night by accompanying my fellow flatmates out for a drink at the Student Union Bar and kept constantly thinking ‘this is weird’. I’d been thrown way out of my comfort zone and felt like an elephant that had just seen a mouse. It was hard to think that everyone was feeling the exact same as me.

My flatmates and I are all very different individuals, there’s The One Who Smells, The One That Never Washes Up, The Quiet One, The Dramatic One, The Pretty One, The Anti-Social One and The Funny One, The Squealey One and The One That’s Nice To Look At. Becoming friends was something I had no trouble in doing. I was happy enough going about my day to day business, getting to know everyone and even more excited to start a new course in one of my favourite subjects; something that I’m good at and something that I want to build a career in: Fashion Journalism- which is writing about pretty clothes and being a know-all. Everything was super troopa, however, when the investigation of the missing cheese erupted, I was terrified.

It all happened one miserable morning. I had settled in nicely after a few weeks of the university lifestyle and it all wasn’t that bad, I wasn’t going to admit it yet- but everything was okay. On this particular morning I’d gotten up feeling a little worse for wear from the previous nights one too many vodkas, this was something else that nobody warned me about when becoming a student- nobody made you a cup of tea when all you wanted to do was fossilise yourself in bed when struck with a hangover. When I finally reached the kitchen I made a cheese toastie in complete zombie mode.

When everybody moved in, they all brought their different appliances, pots, pans and sets of 16 unnecessary plates. I moved in with the basics and decided to buy anything that I needed along the way. The Quiet One had brought this machine. At first I thought it resembled some sort of time machine which under no circumstances, was I going to attempt to figure out what one earth it was in fear of being transported to some unknown land. But, embarrassingly I asked what on earth the device was and after my flatmate showed me what the special machine created, my diet has consisted of cheese and bread ever since. The cheese toastie machine is, in my eyes, a miracle invention. So, this all seems innocent so far? That’s what I thought too.

There must have been a cheese alarm, like one of those creations conjured up by Wallace and Gromit, as it had got to that time of day which resembles feeding time at the Flat 1a zoo and the investigation was full swing of trying to find out who had stolen The Dramatic One’s cheese. Everyone was lined up, hands out and inspected for any cheese under the fingernails of The One Who Smells, cheese on the used plate of The One That Never Washes Up and a frightful interrogation for the rest of us. “Did you steal my cheese?!” I didn’t know where to look or what to say. I must have picked up the wrong block of cheese when previously in hung-over zombie mode. “No!” I replied. I lied through my teeth- I must be the accidental cheese thief. I would have denied it within an inch of my life in fear of being outcast and perhaps hung by my toes out the window in punishment. I had to live with these people for the best part of a year and there was no way I was going to be The One Who Steals Food.

The problem was resolved by The One Who Smells telling The Dramatic One to get over it. It was only cheese.

What astonished me most is how people can wet their pants over a centimetre of cheese. It put me on edge knowing I was living with petty people- what happened to ‘sharing is caring’ and all that malarkey? The Dramatic One’s foul mood subsided within a few days. I have definitely learnt my lesson to keep my eyes open when rummaging through the fridge and this, will never be my home. I was almost wrong in thinking that the rest of my fellow flatmates were in fact, ever so slightly normal, because they’re not.

Kids nowadays.

My Wardrobe

2010-11-09T14:17:00.003Z

I have had fitted wardrobes all my life. The best thing being about them is that you needn't worry about them toppling over, being too full or too small as there is always another cupboard somewhere along the wall in the jigsaw of fitted wardrobes that can also be full with a different category of clothes. When shifting through my clothes their age becomes apparent, think wooly jumpers that remind you of Grandad, pleated mid-length floral skirts, swing dresses, a 80's Levis denim jacket, a fur coat and those leotards your Mother used to wear sneaking out of the house to go dancing- when she had a life before she met your Father. All of it screams 'Vintage'.

I see my clothing choices as more of a lifestyle, from the purchasing process being more of an adventure and knowing the garment is one of a kind- nobody else has it but you. You know when the garment is special as when your Mother is doing the wash and your new purchase is next to be put in the washing machine you hear the loud 'tut' of disapproval and the 'Lauraaaaaa what's this?' which is soon to follow. I'm not talking 'retro' the new clothes that are made to look vintage and 30 years old- I'm talking clothes that even have that old smell. The smell that sometimes triggers the question 'who died in this?'.

With charity shops being the goldmines of vintage clothing and many unique vintage shops

this post isn't finished yet.

Morphotex Fabric

2010-10-19T12:08:00.003+01:00

I've had to come up with a new fashion innovation. I've designed my idea on the Morphotex fabric used to make this dress. It is desgined around the Morpho butterfly which has a metallic look that is gained by tiny fibers in its wings that refract light. I think its really interesting! I've made a dress collection out of this fabric with movement sensors so the fabric shimmers when your brush your hand over it and also moisture sensors which detect body sweat and either cools you down or warms you up. All these elements have been brought together from different 'smart fabrics'.

(image source: http://www.ecouterre.com/morphotex-dress-mimics-butterfly-wing-shimmer-without-any-dyes/
http://www.butterflyutopia.com/BIG/137-blue_morpho_didius.jpg)

I think only a photographer will understand

2010-10-19T11:30:00.003+01:00

I've been at university for about a month and I should of written about university more because starting uni is only ever going to happen once and one day, I'm going to want to know what the hell happened. Anyway, it had been a while since I had something to focus on, apart from moving in and whether or not I had enough hangers for all my clothes, and so I decided that on one of my adventures back home I was to take some photographs of my favorite subject, Daniel. Despite the fact that I'm in love with him the boy photographs well. He keeps still when he's told to and climbs trees and all sorts of weird stuff when taking part in my projects. The best kind of projects being the ones that start from home, and home being where the heart is I had the urge to take photographs of Dan. The urge to create and the urge to have the feeling of accomplishment.
The photos are peculiar, but after seeing Sally Mann's exhibition recently at The Photographer's Gallery it really opened my eyes to how photography is ultimately personal preference. There isn't any rules. Sure, you can go and learn about this lighting and that soft box that costs a billion pounds, I like my photography to be me, subject and camera. Nothing else because that's the way I prefer it. To me its beautiful.

Sally Mann's Photography

really wish i'd kept up with this blog jheeze

2010-09-26T23:33:00.000+01:00

Grace Kelly Exhibition at the V&A Museum, London

2010-09-26T23:01:00.001+01:00

When Grace Kelly tragically died her passim was mourned by not only royalty but the fashion world and Hollywood. Whilst she was alive she was the epitome of grace and style with an identified look that was both effortlessly glamorous and timeless.

The V&A’s recent exhibition conveyed her life and fashions perfectly. The exhibition was displayed throughout 4 displays of clothing: Actress, Bride, Princess and Enduring Icon. Walking through the exhibition, whether you are an admirer, a learner or just curious, you will be amazed by how the garments worn by Grace Kelly are capsules of not only her life, but the evolution of her style from being a small town actress to royalty. Starting off her career as a model, Grace Kelly hit Hollywood as a youthful, intelligent actress whose ability to carry costume from her modelling career made her all the more renowned. Her look was promoted as the ‘Grace Kelly look’ amongst retailers and admirers. Her fidelity to specific designers, especially Christian Dior also added to her identified image. As an actress her role on screen as a make believe princess was made a reality when she married the Prince of Monaco and thus became a Princess. Her wardrobe was then adapted to her travels to and from Monaco which saw her style at its peak with many classic cut, tailored and feminine items of clothing.

The exhibition really expresses how influential Grace Kelly really was to her era. Any visitor will be able delve into the times of Grace Kelly and how she changed the face of fashion and ultimately became the icon she still is today.

Lie down, I think I love you.

2010-04-27T20:33:00.003+01:00

Lie down, I think I love you.
Originally uploaded by holliefernando

2010-04-27T20:33:00.001+01:00

Originally uploaded by holliefernando

2010-03-24T18:48:00.001Z

Darlingly, they touched the tips of their tounges, and it was then she made the falling, sighing sound which, he realised later, marked a transformation.

- Atonement, by Ian McEwan

My Wonderland

2010-03-23T12:10:00.001Z

Florence & The Dog Days are Over

2010-03-11T13:26:00.001Z

Shoe Timeline- 2009 to Present

2010-03-05T10:54:00.002Z

First we get these:

Then these:

And now, these:

I dislike them all. What is the matter with the world.
Personally, I thought I'd stay on the safe side and dug these out of my garage:

They got me through the winter days, they aren't made out of holey plastic, or slouch to the sides, or look like slippers, or cost £4 from Primark, or look like they smell, or look like they've been thrown under a stream roller to look 'authentic'.
Thank you very much.

WONDERLAND

2010-03-05T10:34:00.010Z

My photography exam title for the next twelve weeks is 'Passions & Obsessions'.
I decided to explore the world of fantasy- being obsessed with creating a fanatical world, and combining it with the passion that is needed to create such a thing.
This is my first photo-shoot, it didn't go as well as I'd planned but, the photos themselves show how fun the day was and the different perspective each of the characters had of being in a Wonderland.

All Characters

Tweedledum & Tweedledee

Flower

The Mad Hatters

The Cheshire Cat

Queen of Hearts

Cheshire Cat Face

Betty Jackson

2010-03-05T10:25:00.003Z

First of all, the play-suit is cuter than most cute things. Teamed with the little candy coloured socks not only complete the outfit, but puts Jackson's vibe and uniqueness into her Spring collection. I'm not so sure on the matching ruffle bag, mostly because I'm not a 'bag' person. However, the ruffles do give depth and texture to the piece which is a head turner. The fit is more like a swimming costume which a more loose fitting- ultimately defines the term 'play-suit'- there is no way you wouldn't have fun wearing it.
My mission now: to sew me some play-suits & buy little socks.

:)

LONDON FASHION WEEKEND

2010-03-05T10:07:00.002Z

So I went along to see what all the fuss was about, I didn't know what to expect and so I was pleasantly surprised.
The catwalk show inspired me to inherit a pastel palette and project a fanatical look. Also, unique yet classical tailoring to enhance the body's shape and presence takes on a different way of wearing 'key' pieces.
Lace, glitz and sheer glamour still remains for the spring, but an overload of each element is a big no-no. Simple yet effective and the mystery still remains.

Bring me Spring.

OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY

2010-02-22T12:36:00.000Z

2010-01-27T10:59:00.008Z

Im in love with this boy. It's also quite handy that he takes a good pictuer. These are for my identity work- in response to my artist research of the rather cool photographer Adam Murray.

IDENTITY

2010-01-27T10:56:00.003Z

Here is some of my photography work for my coursework that I called 'Identity'. I run off a 35mm black and white film of portraits of as many different people as I could in the hope to develop my photos my covering their eyes, cutting out parts of their face and inevitably hiding their identity. However, I got a bit excited and scratched my negatives, so after a long few hours I managed to scan them in onto Photoshop, edit out the scratches and lo and behold, mess up their faces. I think its quite cool.

"If they give you ruled paper, write the other way."

2010-01-27T10:55:00.000Z

http://www.flickr.com/photos/glitterrr

2010-01-14T13:05:00.002Z

http://www.myspace.com/maccavelion

2010-01-14T13:00:00.003Z

2010-01-11T09:45:00.002Z

My eggs are always scrambled. Why they decided to call them scrambled, I'll never know- but i like the word scrambled. If I'm hungry at brunch time, I'll have scrambled eggs on toast.

Avatar

2010-01-11T09:41:00.001Z

The. Best. Film.

i don't care, im in love. so in love.

2010-01-11T09:19:00.000Z

OK! Magazine Christmas Party

2009-12-16T10:21:00.002Z

yes, I went there and yes, it was posh and slightly boring. I got photographed for OK! Magazine, but I have yet to hunt down the photos myself. I can officially say I have been to a posh party where i spent the evening in a room full of people twice my age, all drunk and all gagging for it. Photo's soon :)

oh, florence

2009-12-16T10:20:00.004Z

My best friend and I went to the Brixon Academy to stand in the presence of Florence Welch, and oh my, was it a good show.

2009-12-01T12:26:00.001Z

http://www.showstudio.com/projects/dressmeupdressmedown/fragmentsofme/

this is my inspiration for my identity project. i will photograph as many people as i can in three shots and create three photo albums which will act as flipbooks. you will be able to interact with my photos and create whatever identity you wish.

OLIVER!

2009-12-01T12:15:00.003Z

i knew in advance that my mother had bought tickets to go and see Oliver the musical in the theatre down Drury Lane for her birthday. i was quite sceptical about it, i had never really watched the film the whole way through but i gathered that it was about an orphan boy who pickpocketed, the london robin-hood. however, it was a delight watching the show. all those kids running around in their dirty rags made me want to join in too. i offically now know all the words to 'considerrr yourselffff' and 'you gotta pick a pocket or twoooo'. AND i didn't fall asleep, i was just about to when my sister nudged me to look at this woman's boobs. honestly the biggest basookas i've ever seen in my life. jolly good show.

the kid in the photo played Artful Dodger and he has a kinda cool velevet hat. i do like velvet. i'm going to do a post especially for velvet.

here

2009-12-01T12:09:00.003Z

we need a much needed blogpost. one that will scrap the deflation in my mind and inspire me to actually do something. i think this deflation is sourced from utter bordness. day in day out i wander around in a sleep, with only the butterflies in my tummy that keep me upright. i want to say im unbelievably happy, but that would contridict the other aspects of my life that are getting me down. its easy for me to shake these worries and woes off and just get on with it all- but in reality, they're slowing me down.
so be it, this post didn't actually help anything. it has just proved that i knew all of this alright. its now straight in my mind.

SHOW:studio Fashion Revolution

2009-11-10T18:13:00.004Z

The most recent exhibition featuring at Somerset House. If your into edgy fashion and feel like watching a live Vouge cover shoot, creating your own model casting video and viewing artists work you never knew existed, I suggest you go. I saw the likes of Lady Gaga in the Vouge cover shoot, there wasn't a huge fuss- most probably because it was hardly obvious it was her. The lighting was dim but fortunately I was close enough to get a peek at the outfit...and the nose. The Vouge shoot looked beautiful and the exhibition was unique. Upon entering the exhibition, a 12-foot something interactive sculpture of Niaomi Campbell seemed a bit overwhelming. The atmosphere lightens up when you realise you can write your name on her body and draw whatever you want on the interactive pad which is projected onto her body.
Nick Knight, the creator of SHOW:studio, has proved to just about everyone how much he has excelled in his creations and ideas. Inspiration is available.

Fashion Promotion photos

2009-11-09T18:32:00.000Z

2009-11-08T13:13:00.000Z

i've got all these things to blog about but just the lack of appetite to do so.

i am fed up for the time being

2009-10-23T10:00:00.003+01:00

I found this photographer, Riccardo Tinelli (NYC). This photo was the kind of photo that I've been looking for to work in responce to for my 'sense of place' brief. The photo is like my dream and I was so content in the clouds. You made me come crashing down.

2009-10-22T10:18:00.005+01:00

the thing is, im in love with a lionheart.

this shoot was for my photography brief 'a day in the life of'. i didn't want to stalk a stranger for a day or photograph my dad doing nothing all day- i wanted to find an identity that i could photograph that combined an aspect of fashion with colour and fascination. i'm never really organised with my shoots, i need to be.

http://lookbook.nu/glitterrr

2009-10-20T20:41:00.000+01:00

those boots i was telling you about...

not bad.

2009-10-19T20:23:00.002+01:00

JIMMY CHOO for H&M

well. this is just splendid. i am saving up for the 14th November when this beautiful high street evolution commences.

clip 'em on

2009-10-19T19:03:00.002+01:00

£4 Christian Dior earrings- snapped these badboys up today in the charity shop. i was pretty impressed. they're clip on but i think that adds to the excitment, there's nothing quite like the sensation of something clipped onto your ear lobe. i was surprised to find that the charity shops weren't full of a few more delights. it's a new season and most people are due a wardrobe clear out so i was surprised to see that i didn't leave the shops crying on the inside due to my lack of pennies. i spent £6 on a book for english that isn't even in proper english. hmph. i've learnt that there is not alot you can say about £4 earrings you found in a charity shop, so i'll leave it at that.

new found fascination

2009-10-18T19:52:00.004+01:00

the-boy-that-i-love and i fixed the treehouse today and i was inspired. we clipped the net back up to the branches so we could lay there under the trees and get blinded by the flickers of sunshine that shone through the leaves.
the leaves were still green on the trees, slowly turning gold and brown to fall on the ground. there was a dark shadow where the leaves overlapped one another.
the boy and i have a tree in the woods, up the hill and a little to the right. its a big tree trunk that has fallen down parallel to the ground. you can wrap yourself around the never-ending tree trunk and your body won't touch.
i want to take photographs of the net hammock under the trees. i want to take photographs of the overlapping leaves. i want to take photographs of a body wrapped around the tree trunk.

glitter in paris

2009-10-15T21:38:00.000+01:00

i photograph.

one of my brief's this term for photography was 'a sence of place'.

i went to paris and had so much fun playing in all the glitter.

start as you mean to go on

2009-10-15T20:42:00.000+01:00

hello autum.
people's hair colour seems to change to blend in with the falling leaves. this season we get to go out in sparkles, cosy up in chunky knits, shuffle about in thigh-high's and pad out our shoulders -oooh. i promised myself that i wouldn't delve into thigh-high boots, but i couldn't stop myself when Primark came out with an alright pair of 15quid suede badboys. to put it simply: i wanted black but picked up the blue because the black ran out. didn't want the blue but bought them anyway. held onto them and moreorless took them everywhere with me incase i happened to pass a Primark and i could pop in and get them swapped for a black pair. after a week, there was no hope. so i got over it and put on the blue ones in the middle of the street. as soon as i scuffed the bottoms and threw away the reciept, i realised that i didn't particulary want these boots, i didn't need them but fashion-god told me that i needed them. amen.

hello blogspotty

2009-10-15T12:20:00.003+01:00

i thought it was time to grow up and prepare for the future in writing fashion articles. during the summer i attended London College of Fashion to do a introduction to Fashion Journalism. I surprised myself and soon decided that this was the course i wouldn't mind spending the next three years doing. practise makes perfect and so here i am, attempting to make a career for myself through writing to nobody on this blog. thank you for your kindness x